tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33663572011-04-21T20:33:29.598-05:00<b>Commentary and satire on whatever catches my fancy.</b><br><br> Email me at <b>davidgarver@usa.net</b><br><br> <b>Nice people who know I'm here:</b><br><br> <a href="http://quasipundit.blogspot.com/"> Adragna & Vehrs</a><br> <a href="http://site-essential.com/"> Kathy Kinsley</a><br> <a href="http://dodgeblog.blogspot.com/"> DodgeBlog</a><br>Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comBlogger441100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-1098459006222367892004-10-22T10:28:00.000-05:002004-10-22T10:30:06.230-05:00

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas An Acerbic.Press exclusive Retailers are pondering the impact that the closely contested and virulently partisan election will have on their Christmas sales this year. Some see opportunity, others fear a weak sales season will result. One high street retailer is seriously worried. "Look, to the economy an election is much like a war. All those

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-1098458783882419372004-10-22T10:24:00.000-05:002004-10-22T10:26:23.890-05:00

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas An Acerbic.Press exclusive Retailers are pondering the impact that the closely contested and virulently partisan election will have on their Christmas sales this year. Some see opportunity, others fear a weak sales season will result. One high street retailer is seriously worried. "Look, to the economy an election is much like a war. All those

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-107728872002-03-15T14:00:00.000-06:002002-03-15T14:00:10.343-06:00

Acerbic.Press has moved! There's a new site, a new look and new technology, but the content should be more of the same.

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-107632792002-03-15T08:37:00.000-06:002002-03-15T08:37:39.733-06:00

Down for the count? an Acerbic.Press exclusive A weary looking Arthur Andersen executive today fielded questions from reporters about the latest scandal to break on the beleagured accounting firm. In the wake of Justice Department charges for obstructing justice, it was revealed today that Andersen had been the auditor for the Zimbabwean presidential election, and had stated that the results

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-107073762002-03-13T16:14:00.000-06:002002-03-13T16:14:21.476-06:00

No tanks for the memories Steel behemoths play a psychological role in many of the world's sadder moments It is a David and Goliath moment. A civilian, carrying a rocket-propelled grenade launcher, or a molotov coctail, or merely with open hands, faces a 70 ton mechanized monster lumbering down the street. Tanks fascinate press photographers. During the Prague Spring of 1968, or at Tiananmen

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-107007672002-03-13T12:58:00.000-06:002002-03-13T12:58:59.700-06:00

For the three or four of you who read this The intermittent availability of the otherwise wonderful blogspot has convinced me that I need to find a new home. There are also some ideas I'm playing with about redesigning the format of the site, which I will be trying to incorporate at the same time. Since at my current position, the web publishing learning curve is essentially vertical, it will

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-106646942002-03-12T13:11:00.000-06:002002-03-12T13:11:33.320-06:00

Somalia Savings & Loan Neo-imperialism, foreign aid or good business? In the aftermath of 9/11, one of the actions taken by the US government, as part of its attempt to starve al-Qaeda of money, was to shut down the Somalian overseas banking network al-Barakaat. Given the murky nature of terrorist organization funding, and the dearth of information available to the public on these flows, it may

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-106637962002-03-12T12:45:00.000-06:002002-03-12T12:45:58.223-06:00

Proxy Armies in Iran Barbie more harmful than missiles? Without going through boot camp, Barbie and Ken have gone off to war, trying to win over the hearts and minds of Iran's young girls. The campaign seems to be having some success, both because the dolls are popular and because the Iranian government has felt compelled to develop Dara and Sara, a toyland equivalent for the local Militia.

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-106579252002-03-12T09:38:00.000-06:002002-03-12T09:41:51.000-06:00

Tiny Turnout an Acerbic.Press exclusive Today is the statewide primary in Texas, but attendence is expected to be even smaller than normal. In a novel experiment at increasing awareness of what they were voting on, both parties are requiring voters to take a short quiz on issues and candidates before they are allowed to cast their ballot. The test, which is for informational purposes only, does

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-106331652002-03-11T17:03:00.000-06:002002-03-11T17:03:58.376-06:00

Always nice to hear an expert opinion After reading The Nation's explanation of why the newest Star Trek derivative, Enterprise, is racist, sexist, dehumanizing, fattening and the cause of ring around the collar, I can only say that I'm glad to have the error of my ways pointed out so well. To think that I actually liked the show...

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-106323592002-03-11T16:39:00.000-06:002002-03-11T16:40:22.000-06:00

A fellow traveller Those of you who had some doubts about the accuracy of my recent stories on the Internet nation and the formation of Dufassa may be reassured, or perhaps horrified, by this.

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-106289732002-03-11T14:47:00.000-06:002002-03-11T14:47:04.816-06:00

Give them The Chair an Acerbic.Press exclusive John McEnroe's late and unlamented ABC game show, The Chair, left the air recently after a short run. While most have assumed that the show was cancelled because of terrible ratings, the truth is more chilling. According to an executive associated with the news show Nightline, the entire series was secretly funded by the CIA, who use videotapes of

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-106280352002-03-11T14:11:00.000-06:002002-03-11T14:11:11.773-06:00

Fussy feeders an Acerbic.Press exclusive The National Institutes of Health announced today that infants exposed to high levels of televison in utero often exhibit withdrawl symptoms after birth. In particular, the babies, who became accustomed to a rapidly changing visual and audible environment, seem to have a short attention span, so that they lose interest in feeding. As a result, their

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-106208352002-03-11T10:16:00.000-06:002002-03-11T10:20:00.000-06:00

Chickens to the barricades an Acerbic.Press exclusive In what could prove to be the first skirmish in a looming trade war, chickens gathered today in many Russian ports to block the unloading of chicken from America. Although it was denied by both governments, some of the protesting chickens said that they were motivated by the recent U.S. decision to impose tariffs on Russian (and other) steel

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-106028792002-03-10T20:37:00.000-06:002002-03-10T20:37:20.130-06:00

Weekly World Wrap The world this week is a summary of the world's main events provided as a free service each week as email by The Economist. Sign up at http://www.economist.com Additional commentary by Acerbic.Press A HOT BATTLE Eight American soldiers died and 40 were wounded in the fiercest battle of the war in AFGHANISTAN. About 1,000 Americans, together with Afghan forces, came under

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-105954182002-03-10T16:06:00.000-06:002002-03-10T16:06:27.003-06:00

George on George an Acerbic.Press exclusive George Washington is in town for a few weeks, and he was kind enough to give Acerbic.Press an interview. Acerbic.Press: Mr. Washington, it's been a while since anyone talked to you. How have you been doing? George Washington: Please call me George. Well, after lying around for all those years, I'm a bit stiff, but I'm not complaining. AP: (laughs)

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-105709522002-03-09T19:05:00.000-06:002002-03-09T19:07:34.000-06:00

It's never too early to look for your next job George W. Bush, perhaps aware that his tenure as President is limited by statute or electoral whim, is now working on his 3rd career. On the heels of his successful business and political ventures, George is moving toward an acting career. His first starring role, in the documentary Journeys With George, premiered recently at SXSW and may be moving

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-105577852002-03-09T08:46:00.000-06:002002-03-09T08:47:16.000-06:00

More than one kind of smart bomb It's been a recurring theme among the US commentariat over the last 6 months that our European allies weren't contributing anything to the war effort, and thus their complaints about how we were running it were both unjustified and unwelcome. In response to my Intellectualism post from a few days ago, reader Sylvia Rappenecker sent this example of how that

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-105441652002-03-08T19:53:00.000-06:002002-03-08T19:53:05.766-06:00

No win situations A number of commentators, most recently on NPR's Washington Week have observed that President Bush was in a no-win situation when considering steel tariffs. No matter what he did lots of people were going to be angry. There's always one choice one can make in such a case: do what you know is the right thing for your constituency. In Bush's case, his constituency is the people

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-105322422002-03-08T13:27:00.000-06:002002-03-08T14:02:39.000-06:00

Online community now world's 3rd most populous country With steady increases for several years, the number of people with access to the Internet is near a half-billion, making this amorphous group the 3rd largest "country" on Earth. This would remain true even if we treat the European Union as a single country. Internet users of the world, unite! Throw off the chains of your oppressive,

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-105280632002-03-08T11:23:00.000-06:002002-03-08T11:24:44.000-06:00

Fort Worth woman creates new art form an Acerbic.Press exclusive Jonathan Z. Hackensacker waves his arms with excitement. "She is too distracted to realize it right now, but Chante Mallard has really stretched the boundaries of modern art," explained the Fort Worth area art critic. "Modern art has been in the doldrums for some time, without a clear direction of where it was going. The older

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-105255082002-03-08T10:13:00.000-06:002002-03-08T10:13:14.186-06:00

The american way of death The ongoing villification of NYT cartoonist Ted Rall, in its focus on the vileness of his work, obscures the fact that it was based on an unpalatable observation: some of the terrorism survivors do indeed appear to be money grubbing. The primary difference between Rall's sin and that of some of the claimants is that he's a regular in the Times and they are victims. I'm

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-105019172002-03-07T14:53:00.000-06:002002-03-07T14:57:43.000-06:00

Can't leave well enough alone Kathy Kinsley appologises for corrupting me into the world of blogging. Little did she know. Counters, comments...where will it end? It's OK, Kathy. I was pretty strange already.

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-104971002002-03-07T12:40:00.000-06:002002-03-07T12:40:19.223-06:00

Standalone Sam? Cokie Roberts has announced that she's leaving ABC's This Week in the fall, saying that it would give her more weekend time with her family. Since her grandchildren are in California and London, I hope she has a private jet, or the travel to see them on those newly freed-up weekends is going to be brutal. [thanks to AintNoBadDude for a heads-up on this, even if moon unit

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-104961502002-03-07T12:10:00.000-06:002002-03-07T12:10:47.733-06:00

Spoilt for choice DaimlerChrysler will launch a new luxury brand, the Maybach, bringing back an old one which has not been produced since World War II. According to Daimler, "The car's goal is to cater for the very wealthy by offering them a "highly exclusive, bespoke car in the high-end luxury class." DaimlerChrysler's marketing material insists that Mr Maybach "maintained from the outset

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-104938682002-03-07T11:04:00.000-06:002002-03-07T11:04:10.496-06:00

If Aaron Sorkin were a Republican... Many on the right seem to view Aaron Sorkin as a flame breathing dragon of intolerable leftist propaganda due to his no doubt huge influence in story selection for The West Wing. Let's rewrite last night's story assuming that Sorkin were actually just as far to the right as his attackers claim he is to the left: The first lady would never have suggested

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-104920822002-03-07T10:10:00.000-06:002002-03-07T10:10:00.110-06:00

"Shipicide" bomb blocks port an Acerbic.Press exclusive Apparently in protest of the recent decision by President Bush to impose tarriffs on steel, a large cargo ship was sunk this morning in the channel to the Port of Houston, blocking access to it. The ship, a very large cargo carrier, was fully loaded with containers. A massive explosion aboard split the vessel in two pieces which

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-104911002002-03-07T09:40:00.000-06:002002-03-07T09:40:32.550-06:00

Zimbabwe announces election results A spokesman for Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe this morning announced the results from tomorrow's elections. As expected, Mugabe was reelected by a wide margin, with 99.98 percent of the vote. "Apparently in a few cases the pencil slipped as the voter's hand was being guided to the ballot paper," explained the spokesman. In a surprise development, however

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-104903722002-03-07T09:17:00.000-06:002002-03-07T09:21:31.000-06:00

Astro-Celebrity Bickering Dramatis personae: Keck, Keck II, 10 meters each, Mauna Kea, Hawaii Melipal, Antu, Kueyen, Yepun, 8.2 meters each, Cerro Paranal, Chile Hale, 5 meters, Mt. Palomar, CA Mayall, 3.8 meters, Kitt Peak, Arizona Hubble Space Telescope, 2.4 meters, Low Earth Orbit A conversation begins, unheard by human ears: Hubble: Hey, guys, I'm back! Melipal: Oh, were you gone? I'm

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-104633972002-03-06T15:20:00.000-06:002002-03-06T15:20:32.710-06:00

Fewer intellectuals, but better? US News & World Report runs a story on intellectualism, triggered at least in part by Richard Posner's new Public Intellectuals: A Study of Decline, in which they suggest that such a decline need not be a cause for mourning. The report proposes that after a 100 year reign, a move into academia, increasing specialization and the end of the Cold War, which took

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-104524872002-03-06T10:11:00.000-06:002002-03-06T10:25:10.000-06:00

The birth of a new country an Acerbic.Press exclusive The waters of the Mediterranean Sea collide with those of the Atlantic Ocean between the two rocky promentories of Gibralter and Ceuta. That chaotic merging is an apt metaphor for the unexpected creation and uncertain future of a new country which has sprung up at this age old bridge/choke point between seas and between continents. In a move

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-104248632002-03-05T17:01:00.000-06:002002-03-05T17:23:29.000-06:00

Privatizing Public Television A long time ago in a land far, far away, Public Television used to be, well, public. There were no commercials. Times have changed. I got used to annual fund drives, then bi-annual, and now, it seems, near constant. I got used to things at the beginning and end of each show that look like commercials, and walk like commercials, and quack like commercials. I know

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-104090012002-03-05T09:29:00.000-06:002002-03-05T09:31:13.000-06:00

Psychic explains bin-Laden disappearance an Acerbic.Press exclusive Our correspondent in Khandahar has located an Afghan with paranormal abilities who says he knows why Osama bin-Laden, along with Taleban head Mullah Omar, are missing. "Both those guys, they hate a lot, you know. They hate so much they become nothing but hate. You can't live like that - it takes hate and love both. All you got

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-104083832002-03-05T09:08:00.000-06:002002-03-05T09:08:58.573-06:00

Rich and Poor(1) South Korea's government is encouraging its citizens to reduce food wastage. South Koreans annually throw out as much food as North Koreans consume. North Korea could seemingly solve its starvation problem merely by letting some of its citizens go south and root in South Korea's garbage cans. However, Kim Jong Il, the enlightened and benevolent ruler of North Korea, doesn't

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-103692742002-03-04T11:09:00.000-06:002002-03-04T11:09:29.000-06:00

Prisoner mistreatment continues at Camp X-ray an Acerbic.Press exclusive Representatives from international monitoring organizations, visiting Guantanamo Bay to check on Taliban and al-Qaida prisoners who are on hunger strike, announced today that conditions in the camp are far worse than has been previously reported. "We were allowed access to the prisoners," said the chief spokesperson, "and

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-103676292002-03-04T09:50:00.000-06:002002-03-04T09:50:21.300-06:00

It's Will's Fault In a kind welcome to Acerbic.Press, established pundit Will Vehrs raises the specter of environmental decline for blogging. It was too good to resist: EPA announces rules for emissions testing of new blogs an Acerbic.Press exclusive The EPA announced today that, beginning immediately, the creation of any new Weblog (blog) will require the filing of an environmental impact

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-103438382002-03-03T17:53:00.000-06:002002-03-03T17:56:20.000-06:00

Switzerland anticipates larger role in world affairs an Acerbic.Press exclusive Citizens of Switzerland today voted to have their country join the United Nations. The move ended a period hundreds of years long when the mountainous country was known for its fierce neutrality. A highly placed Swiss source, who calls himself 'The Gnome of Zurich,' said "We've been anticipating that this move might

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-103405782002-03-03T16:06:00.000-06:002002-03-03T16:38:16.000-06:00

Sleep well, CBS Bill Geist, a correspondant on CBS News Sunday Morning, today interviewed Michael Essany. Mike's career goal is to be a nighttime talk show host, and he's doing everything he can to turn dreams to reality. At 19, he's already spent 4 years doing a weekly show on his local cable access channel, produced in his parent's living room. Along the way, he's managed to get a number of

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-103166122002-03-02T20:28:00.000-06:002002-03-03T16:15:04.000-06:00

Great opportunities that will probably be missed Jonas Savimbi, Angola's rebel leader, was killed by the army. After decades of civil war, during which time Savimbi's rebel force, UNITA, was variously toasted as the bulwark of the free world in central Africa, or roasted as a terrorist, this provides a window of opportunity to bring peace to a country on the bottom of all measures of livability.

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-103148112002-03-02T19:15:00.000-06:002002-03-02T19:37:57.000-06:00

Feast and Famine It's now about two weeks until the Texas primaries. After several cycles in which the Democratic Party was essentially moribund, this election brings some choices in the top races. There were statewide televised debates last night for both Governor and Senator, and they provided some interesting viewing. Texas's 2 top Democratic gubernatorial candidates are both Hispanics. Tony

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-103015832002-03-02T10:39:00.000-06:002002-03-02T10:40:00.000-06:00

Tripped up Linda Tripp, heroine/villain from the Lewinsky affair, depending on your opinion about Bill, has breast cancer. Her lawyer has asked that the public respect her privacy. That's good advice. I wonder when she learned it? Shadow, schmadow The press is buzzing with talk about the existence of the shadow government. Several pundits have said that it seems a bit creepy. Is this a real

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-102889332002-03-01T22:02:00.000-06:002002-03-01T22:02:34.686-06:00

By reason of insanity After a show during which he interviewed former Enron CEO Jeffrey Skilling, host Larry King announced that he hoped Skilling would get in touch with Andrea Yates' defense team. "I've never run into anyone who so clearly didn't know the difference between right and wrong," said King. A panel of psychiatrists who viewed the taped interview agreed with King's analysis.

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-102790372002-03-01T16:12:00.000-06:002002-03-01T16:12:10.043-06:00

Marching Through Georgia March 1, 2002 Speculation continued today that The Pentagon will soon announce a plan to support anti-terrorist activity in the Republic of Georgia. Speaking off the record, a highly placed source in the Department of Defense said that some "out of the box thinking" had allowed them to conceive a bold new plan to help our Georgian ally. According to the source, General

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3366357.post-102789072002-03-01T16:08:00.000-06:002002-03-01T16:08:27.370-06:00

Welcome to Acerbic Press

Davidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258494215809628487noreply@blogger.com